Applications are invited for the position of Chief Executive Officer of a multinational religious corporation. The successful applicant should have advanced degrees in theology and philosophy, experience in business administration, facility in ancient and modern languages, theoretical and practical knowledge of diplomacy, proven ability in the use of mass media, exceptional political skills (both public and bureaucratic), physical fitness and (if possible) sporting ability, and an unblemished reputation for both virtue and respectability. (Exceptions to the last requirement might be made for those candidates who, though they admit early and even extravagant lapses, can demonstrate a full recovery, either through sustained repentance or by miraculous intervention, attested to in both cases by no fewer than five witnesses of high standing in the community.)