I had a dream about Sarah Palin. Not what you think. I’m not that desperate…
In my dream, Sarah showed me her copy of the Declaration of Independence. My eyes had grown kind of dim, so I asked her to read it to me. She read:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created heterosexual, that they are endowed by Jesus Christ with certain unalienable Duties, that among these are Being Pro-Life, Marrying the first Guy who Knocks you Up, and Keeping your Hands outside the Blankets when you go to Bed. That to secure these Duties, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from Holy Scripture. - That whenever any Citizen becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the Government to alter or to abolish him or her, and to institute new Citizens, laying their foundation on such principles, as shall seem most likely to effect their Morality and Godliness.”
“That’s funny”, I said, “I could have sworn that Thomas Jefferson wrote something else.”
“Who the fuck”, she asked, “is Thomas Jefferson?”